Withering Bell Flower
by phoenixreal
Summary: Canon Divergent. Ichigo Kurosaki gave his powers up to defeat Aizen four years ago. He gets involved in a relationship with a man who may not have Ichigo's best interests at heart, but he finds himself trapped. On a day he makes a decision to try and return to Soul Society the only way he can think of, he finds two nearly drowned animals who are much more than they seem. M/M, Yaoi
1. Chapter 1: Cats and Dogs

Chapter One

Cats and Dogs

Something as minor as being transformed into a small dog was not going to stop Renji Abarai from fighting this weird ass hollow. Of course, as a small red furred Pomeranian, Renji wasn't very effective. He looked beside him and to his annoyance, not only had he be transformed into a small, yappy dog, beside him, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, who had ended up being pulled into the World of the Living by this same weird ass hollow, had been transformed into a small Russian Blue cat.

There was a pause as the hollow seemed to look around it. It was big, almost two stories in height, and had the ability to open garganta. Grimmjow's presence had alerted him and Rukia to a major problem, and both had come to find the once-Sexta Espada fighting this enormous hollow creature. It looked somewhat like a fox, and it had the ability to transform things it touched with two tendrils that extended from the jaws. Those were what it had smacked both Grimmjow and Renji with moments ago. Just as Renji was sure that the thing was just going to step on them, there was a flash and Rukia landed before them, having split the thing open from behind. Unfortunately, she had no idea that Renji and Grimmjow had both been transformed into small animals.

"Renji!" she called, looking around as she stepped over the yapping dog under her feet. She stopped, kneeling and scuffled Renji's head. He was very loudly telling her that he was right here and she needed to understand that it was him. He looked over to Grimmjow who had sat down and started cleaning his paws. How could he clean at a time like this?

Rukia pulled out her communication device and sighed. "I seem to have lost both the Arrancar and Abarai-fukutaichou," she said and looked around, stepping over the yapping Renji.

Renji snorted and ran to where Grimmjow sat and watched. He growled. "She can't understand me!" he yapped out. It was weird, he could understand himself, but his voice was entirely that of a barking dog.

"I noticed," Grimmjow mewed. Again, Renji heard him speaking but it was the sound of a cat meowing. He made a strange facial expression. "At least I used to be a cat. You're one annoying little shit of a dog," he murmured and stood, stretching and yawning. "We should find somewhere to wait for whatever this is to wear off."

"Wear off?" Renji yapped. "You've seen something like this happen before? You've been turned into an animal?"

Grimmjow growled. "Not exactly like this, but I've seen hollows that can transform things. I guess when it hits something like a Shinigami or an Arrancar that it makes a different thing happen than just minor changes. I've seen hollows grow extra limbs, eyes, things like that. Then it just wears off after a while. I'm gonna hope this is like that, y'know?"

Renji yapped in frustration and followed Grimmjow for a while. He seemed to be heading toward shelter that they could both see in the distance. Renji worried, though, because these bodies felt like real animal bodies; they were completely transformed. Renji couldn't access his power at all, and he knew the feeling of having a physical body from wearing a Gigai so much. They would need food and water, and considering how small they were, there were dangers all around them.

"Look, I don't know what you think you're doing, but we can't just wander around Karakura Town-"

Grimmjow suddenly just dropped off the walkway and Renji, too late, realized why. There was a hole in the sidewalk. He too tumbled down into it with a splash. He glared across the space to see a wet Grimmjow who looked very displeased, clinging to a piece of driftwood that had landed in the hole. Renji was paddling because he couldn't reach the bottom with his small legs. There wasn't enough room on the wood for them both, and he had no choice but to doggy paddle for all he was worth.

"Fuck!" Grimmjow yowled and soon, Renji joined him and started yelling, or rather barking, for someone to help them.

Renji was almost worn out when he heard someone's voice.

"What's this?" spoke a voice that sounded familiar as Renji felt himself scooped up into arms and he saw that Grimmjow was similarly picked up. "You two are soaked, I'll take you to clean you up," the familiar voice said. Renji was so tired he just let himself be carried and before long he was sitting in a bathtub across from Grimmjow who looked exhausted as well. Renji looked up and realized to his surprise who had picked them up.

"Ichigo?" he yapped, getting Grimmjow to turn his face toward the person they both hadn't seen in almost four years now. It had been that long since Ichigo had sacrificed his power to save Soul Society. But the Ichigo they were looking at now looked nothing like the one they remembered.

His hair was long and stringy around his face, completely unkempt. His face was drawn and there were dark circles under his eyes as if he were exhausted. If Renji wasn't mistaken, it looked like he had a black eye too. He rolled up his sleeves and when he did, both Renji and Grimmjow could see the bruises on his arms. He took the showerhead and sprayed the mud and muck off both of them, and neither resisted.

"Aren't you two good?" he said, and both Renji and Grimmjow noted how quiet his voice was. Renji knew that this wasn't his home, at least, not the one he had shared with his family. This place was much smaller. "I hope you don't get sick, I don't have money to take you to a vet. Actually, if he gets home and sees you, I'm gonna be in trouble," he nearly whispered as he took a towel and began to dry Renji off first inside the tub. "But how could I leave you there? Especially since it is supposed to rain again."

There was a thump outside and Renji saw Ichigo's eyes widen. "Oh no," he said, looking around him frantically. "I can't let him see you. Oh, um, please, please, don't make any noise," he begged the two animals as he opened the cabinet for the linens and put both inside. "Please, don't move. Just please. I'll get you food, I promise, once he leaves," he whispered.

Just as Ichigo shut the door on the closet there was another sound.

"The hell are you doing down there?" a man's voice said.

"Putting up a towel," Ichigo said as he stood up, turning away from the two animals he'd just hidden in the closet. He felt his heart beating hard. If he found out, he was in so much trouble. He hated animals.

"Why did you have a towel?"

"I rescued a dog and cat that were stuck in a hole, and my hands got dirty," he said rushing through it. He held out his hands that while clean, it was obvious there was still some dirt under his nails. "I have to use the nailbrush in the kitchen still."

Tadasu Hashira stood almost six feet six in height, which wasn't much taller than Ichigo at his five foot eleven inches, but when he was angry, Ichigo thought he was taller than any of the Arrancar he'd fought. He stepped forward and grabbed Ichigo's shoulder and shoved him back into the linen closet door. "Really."

"Yeah, Tadasu, I got the groceries, just like you asked, okay? I got them from the list you sent me. I was on the way home when I saved that dog and cat."

"You didn't save anything, useless twat, you just probably prolonged their suffering, _baka,_ " he commented, and Ichigo searched his face for his mood.

Tadasu was also somewhat punk in his look, as his dyed green hair was done in an undercut and he had pierced eyebrows and lip. Peeking from the neckline of his t-shirt, tattoos were scrolling up his neck on the left side. In the last four years, these things had changed a lot as Tadasu become closer to the new friends they had acquired, and as Ichigo separated further from the life he used to lead. Tadasu was becoming the person he'd always been, instead of the person that Ichigo had met.

Ichigo Kurosaki used to be a strong person, a Shinigami, even fighting strong hollows beside his equally powerful friends. Then, it was all taken away. Well, Ichigo made the choice to give it away to save others. He had, for a while, been proud of himself, but then things had changed. He remembered it vividly, that moment when he realized how weak and useless he was.

 _"_ _You aren't a Shinigami anymore, Kurosaki! Stop this nonsense! You are only going to get yourself killed, and then what would everyone do? You have to stop!" Uryū screamed at him as he sat panting on the rain soaked ground. His hand was covered in blood, and nearby an unconscious woman was lying waiting medical care._

 _"_ _I had to try to help! That guy was going to kill her!" he yelled back as he heard the wailing of sirens in the distance. "I couldn't walk away!"_

 _He had been walking home and run onto a guy trying to beat some young woman to death, something about owing money to someone important. He'd intervened, and now he was sitting on the concrete, cradling a bleeding stab wound in his gut. The guy had attacked him and took off into the rain. Uryū had shown up, having been nearby fighting an attacking hollow. He'd called the cops and an ambulance since Ichigo had lost his phone in the scuffle._

 _"_ _I don't care! You aren't powerful! You're human! Stop acting like you can still be who you were before! You aren't a Shinigami, you're just a weak human!"_

And that day, Ichigo had stopped acting like he had before. He spent nearly three months in the hospital between the wound, a staph infection, and a near miss with a case of pneumonia. If Ichigo doubted his powerlessness, he had no doubts after that. He _was_ a weak human. He _wasn't_ the person he used to be. He couldn't even see ghosts and spirits like he had as a child. No, he was nothing like he had been before. He was a worthless, weak, and fragile human now. And after nearly dying three times in as many months, he was exhausted from fighting.

He'd met Tadasu at the hospital. He had been an orderly volunteer while he was going to school to become a nurse. At first, Tadasu asked him out for drinks when he was released. Then, while drunk, Ichigo told the other man everything; he'd told him about the Shinigami, the secret war going on around them, and how he'd given up his power. More than that, Tadasu _believed_ him about it all. Three months later, they were dating, and despite his father's surprise that Ichigo was with another guy, he had accepted the young Tadasu. He wanted to be a nurse back then, and he had been the perfect boyfriend when he met his father and sisters. In fact, at first, Ichigo had been jealous that his family seemed to like Tadasu more than him. Tadasu had showered him with affection, gifts, and had done everything a good partner was supposed to do. Then, slowly, without Ichigo noticing it, things began to change, and the affection and the gifts would be withheld unless Ichigo was a good boyfriend in return. It didn't seem strange, not really. He was supposed to be a good boyfriend.

Now as Ichigo felt that rush of fear again, he wondered where that Tadasu had gone. The Tadasu that had listened and told him he was still worthy of someone's affection and kissed him for the first time. Ichigo guessed they were both drunk that night, and if he'd been clear headed he probably wouldn't have agreed to sleep with him, but it wasn't like Tadasu had been any clearer than Ichigo had been. Ichigo hadn't liked it, not the act itself or the after effects and soreness. For a while, Tadasu accepted that. Then things changed and Tadasu began insisting if they were dating, if they were boyfriends, then there were certain things that Ichigo was going to have to do for him. It was just how things were. And Ichigo wanted to be a good boyfriend. It wasn't like he'd ever had a relationship at all, let alone with another guy. He listened, and when Tadasu told him good boyfriends answered their partner's needs, even if they didn't like it, he did so. He was going to do something right, and being a good boyfriend was what he could do. Still, a part of him said it was wrong and that he needed to say something and stop it.

Ichigo didn't know when he became so weak, but he had. He gave in, and he let him take whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Another month, and they'd moved in together in this small apartment on the second floor. It had one big bedroom, a living/dining area, a bathroom, and an attic. Ichigo didn't like the attic from the start, but Tadasu put a cot in the attic and told Ichigo that would be his private space, because everyone needed some privacy. Ichigo didn't think he'd use it; why would he? Then he found out that the attic was a private space for a reason. That was where Ichigo had to stay when their "friends" came over, unless Tadasu needed Ichigo to do something while they were there.

"I want dinner ready when I get back in four hours. You have two hours to use the computer for your classwork. Don't waste it this time," Tadasu growled, letting go and turning to leave. "And if you burn dinner, I swear, you will be in so much trouble."

Ichigo couldn't help the slight whimper that escaped his lips and Tadasu turned and glared at him. "Did you say something?"

"N-no. I-I-I'll have dinner ready, and I'll do my work."

Tadasu turned and left. Ichigo stood frozen until he heard the main door open and close, then he breathed out a sigh of relief. Four hours was plenty time. He could hide the dog and cat upstairs in his room. Tadasu wouldn't go in there. He turned and opened the door to find both the Russian Blue cat and the Pomeranian dog staring at him with big eyes. He smiled. He'd give them his food for tonight.

"Up we go," he said as he scooped them both up in his arms. He quickly navigated the stairs to the attic and deposited both of them on his small cot. He had a small desk with a laptop. He looked at it, then the animals. "Okay, first, um, I'm going to name you. Ah, for some reason, you remind me of someone else, so you're going to be Ren," he said and scratched the dog's head. "Huh, that's someone I bet has moved on to better things these days. And you. For some reason you too remind me of someone. I'll call you Grimm."

Ichigo sat down at the small desk and opened the laptop and saw the timer on it. "Okay, you two be good. I have two hours to do my work before it turns off again," he muttered as he pulled up all his online classes. Two hours a day wasn't a lot since he took almost four hours of classes. He had to be careful though, or Tadasu would take that away from him. He had to be useful after all. He finished just before the laptop warned him he had five minutes. He sighed out in relief and turned to see that Ren and Grimm were both watching him.

"You guys are weird, just sitting there. I hope you aren't injured," he said as he knelt in front of the cot and rubbed the small dog's belly. He seemed to be happy for the attention and Ichigo smiled. "I bet you belong to someone, and I shouldn't keep you here. But you guys saved my life today, even if you don't know it."

Grimm made a purring sound and Ichigo wondered if the silly cat understood him. He scratched the top of his head and sighed. "I was going to the river, where my mom died, you see. I was going to walk down into the water and just take a deep breath of it, just so I could go on and be with people I want to be with again. There was this place, called Soul Society, that I used to be able to visit. I really liked it there. There were people I was friends with, who liked me, and who would help me when I needed it. I would rather go there again. That's where souls go when they die, you see. And if I kill myself, someone will come do a konso on my spirit, and I'll go there. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll have power again and instead of being reincarnated, I'll get to go to the Shinigami academy. Then wouldn't it be funny if I learned all about kido!" He sighed deeply and looked wistful, as though he was talking about a trip and not killing himself. "I wanted to leave this place, you know. Wanted to go find some way to be useful again." He tucked his long hair behind his ears. "Tadasu says I'm useful to him, but I don't want to be the kind of useful he says. Especially not when his friends come over or we go away for the weekend to those tattooed men with the black suits. I don't like it, but what can I do? Tadasu needs me."

Ichigo sighed. "You two stay up here, I'm going to make dinner. I'll bring you mine, but tomorrow, maybe I can go outside again. I don't know, though. I went today, and that was hard enough. If something happened, and I was outside without Tadasu knowing, I'd be in trouble. I'll do anything to not be in trouble with Tadasu," he murmured and rubbed his shoulder where he'd slammed him back into the linen closet.

Ichigo got up and left, closing the door behind him, leaving Grimm and Ren alone in the attic room.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Grimmjow said, trying to keep his voice down. Since it came out in meows, he didn't want to be heard.

"That guy, he talks about him like he's his boyfriend, but he's horrible to him. You saw how bruised his arms are, and he's got a black eye. Is that guy beating him?" Renji grumbled, trying to keep the sounds to a growling low sound.

There was a long pause. "He was going to drown himself. Does that even work on humans? Can they do that?" Grimmjow asked Renji as he stood and moved to another section of the bed.

"I guess, I mean, humans can do a lot to kill themselves. Where are the others? Why are they letting this happen?" Renji asked. He paced around the cot and looked out the small window over it. "Ishida, Inoue, Chad? Where are they? And his father? I can't imagine his father allowing someone to hurt Ichigo." In frustration, they both fell asleep on the cot.

They both heard stomping and Ichigo's voice a while later. "There's nothing, Tadasu! I did my schoolwork, it was within the time limit, and that's it! I'm just not feeling well, that's all, I'm not hiding anything…"

Grimmjow and Renji had both hid under the bed as soon as they heard someone coming and watched as the door popped open. They got a good look at the guy now and Grimmjow wanted to throttle him already. He was large and imposing, but more than that, he had the air of someone who was intent on hurting others. He growled and grabbed Ichigo by the upper arm, pushing him down.

"Whatever, stay in here. The guys are coming over tonight, and I don't want to see your worthless, useless face, understand me?"

"I do," Ichigo said from where he'd fallen on the floor. "I'm sorry, I'll do better, I'll…"

Neither Renji or Grimmjow expected this guy to pull back and backhand him. Both resisted the urge to run out and bite the shit out of this guy. Instead of fighting back, Ichigo just nodded, staring at the floor. "Shut up. I didn't ask for anything other than if you understood me. Are we going back to the days when I had to remind you daily that you weren't to talk unless you were spoken to?"

Ichigo shook his head, swallowing hard. "No."

"Good. If I decide I need someone to suck my dick, I'll be back but don't count on it. They're bringing over some good shit tonight to smoke, so I won't be able to get it up anyway. Stay fucking quiet. I hear anything, you are going to be in real trouble."

He turned, slamming the door behind him and Ichigo sat there for a few minutes before he looked around the room for them. Both came out and crawled up on his lap where he sat on the floor. There was blood dripping from his lip but he just licked at it with his tongue.

"Pwew," he exhaled. "That was better than I thought," he muttered and picked up Grimmjow to hold against his chest. "I can't do much right, but maybe I can take care of you two? I know I'm being selfish, but I'm kind of lonely, and I feel like maybe you can help me not be lonely. I just hope you'll stay quiet. I don't want to go down there with them. That's more trouble than I want to deal with."

He pulled a small container form his pocket and put it on the floor. It was cooked meat from the dinner Ichigo had made they guessed. He gave some to both of them, then put the container by his laptop. He looked tired, and had circles under his eyes.

Ichigo ended up crawling under the thin covers and both Renji and Grimmjow snuggled under them too. They noted how thin he was. Not only that, after some investigation, they realized he was riddled with bruising all over his body. They had no idea what had happened to Ichigo in the last four years, but they knew that this wasn't good.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

"You… You lost Abarai-fukutaichou?" Byakuya Kuchiki said with an exasperated look on his face.

Rukia sighed. "Yes, that's what I said. He was fighting the same hollow I was, this huge beastly thing with tendrils. One slapped me away and I came back to split the mask. It dissipated, but he was gone, and so was Grimmjow."

"How was Grimmjow there?" her brother asked with another sigh from behind his desk.

"That I don't know. All I know is that we answered the alert, and he was fighting the hollow. He too was gone when I returned to kill the hollow."

Byakuya sighed again and shook his head. "We need to find them. I'll inform the sou-taichou." He stood and left as Rukia left his office to report in to Ukitake-taichou.

As she headed through the Serietei she smiled to see that Uryū and Orihime were there with Shinji today. She ran toward them, waving at them. They waved back as she approached.

"Hey, what are you two doing here?" she asked with a smile.

"I was doing some research on reishi rich enviornments and Inoue wanted to come along to see everyone. What are you doing here? I thought you were on Karakura Town detail lately," Uryū asked. Shinji looked bored out of his mind as he waited for them.

"Yeah, well, I lost Renji," she muttered and looked away.

"Lost him?" Orhime said with a frown. "How did you lose him?"

"We were fighting a hollow and it knocked me away. By the time I got back, he was gone, and the weird part was Grimmjow had been pulled with the hollow through a garganta to the World of the Living," she explained. "And he was gone too. No idea what is happening."

"I'm sure they'll figure it out, oh, hey, did Kisuke get hold of you yet about the power infusion?" Shinji wondered as if he just thought about it.

"Power infusion?" Rukia looked at him with a frown.

"Yeah, for Ichigo. Kurotsuchi-taichou and Kisuke have an idea of how to give Ichigo his Shinigami power back," Shinji said with a smirk.

"Good luck with that, he doesn't have anything to do with anyone these days." Uryū's voice was bitter.

Shinji arched a brow. "What's that mean?"

"Kurosaki-kun doesn't see anyone anymore," Orihime sighed. "He-he always turns anyone down when we call him, and the few times I've seen him, he's acted like he doesn't know me."

"That seems odd for Ichigo," Rukia noted, looking between her and Uryū. "Why would he abandon his friends even if he's powerless?"

Uryū shrugged. "Go ask him yourself," he mumbled and walked away. Rukia was curious now, and she intended to find out something.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Rukia stared at the house number that Isshin had given her and hoped she had the right place. She knocked on the door and a few seconds later, a man with a green colored undercut hairstyle answered the door and glared down at her. "Who the fuck are you?"

She crossed her arms and glared back up at him. "I came to talk to Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Why?"

The question caught Rukia off guard but she didn't let it affect her. "Because I'm his friend and I've been out of town for the last four years. I'd like to see him again. Unless that's a problem."

The man's eye twitched. "No. Just a minute."

She was left standing at the door and a few minutes later the door opened and she almost didn't recognize Ichigo. He blinked at her and then looked back into the house before he stepped out and closed the door behind him.

"R-Rukia?" he said and crossed his arms over his chest. Despite it being hot, he was in long sleeves and pants. "W-What do you want?"

"Who's that guy?" she demanded.

"Tadasu. What do you want? I've got thigns to d-do."

"Who is Tadasu?" she continued, not moving her arms from crossed over her body.

"My b-boyfriend, who do you think?" he sighed, reaching up and running a hand through his long, stringy hair. "I've got dinner to make yet tonight, and y-you're interrupting my routine, Rukia," he grumbled. She noted that there was a dark hand shaped bruise around his arm when he picked up his arm. She reached out and snatched his arm, shoving his sleeve up.

"What's this, Ichigo?"

Ichigo snatched his arm back and pushed down his sleeve immediately. "N-none of your concern. Now did you come here for something?"

"I came to see you because I'm your friend, now what's going on? Uryū and Orihime said you didn't talk to them anymore, and that you didn't have much to do with your family. Is this guy why?" she glared at the door behind Ichigo and wondered if he was standing on the other side listening to their conversation. Things were beginning to take shape in her mind.

"L-look, Ishida made it clear that I was useless since I lost my power. So, I'm doing what I can. I'm going to school to be a nurse online, and I-I-I keep our house for us. We've been together nearly three years now, after the incident th-that made me realize Ishida was right, s-s-so, that's all there is."

"Where did that bruise come from?" she continued, eyes narrowed at the way he kept looking away from her face.

"I'm clumsy now that I don't have all the fancy Shinigami powers. I'm a used-up freak now, nothing left," he reminded her and turned around. "Don't c-come back." He paused and looked over his shoulder and in a near whisper, spoke again. "Please."


	2. Chapter 2: Belts and Bruises

Chapter Two

Belts and Bruises

"Are you sure this is okay?" Ichigo asked as his new friend opened the door to his place, a second story apartment on the other side of Karakura Town.

Ichigo had been cleared to leave the hospital after three months. He wasn't supposed to be going out and drinking; he was supposed to be home resting. He hadn't done that, however, and he'd agreed to go out with Tadasu, an orderly who had been extremely kind and helpful to him.

"Yeah, fine, my old boyfriend is long gone, so come on, I promised you we'd have some fun, right?" Tadasu asked with a smirk.

Ichigo was more than half drunk already. At the bar (owned by a friend of Tadasu and willing to serve under twenty at his request), between them, they'd drained almost a bottle of sake. Ichigo was stumbling, but Tadasu's feet were uncharacteristically steady for a man who had just drunk so much sake. Of course, what Ichigo didn't know was that he was the only one drinking the sake. Tadasu was switching his out with water. Tadasu had planned this night from the moment he'd fallen in lust with the orange headed patient. He had to have him, there was no other way about it. He was going to take his first time, one way or another, and with as resistant as he was to even talking about sex, Tadasu knew large amounts of alcohol were going to be necessary.

"So why is it that you keep saying you 'lost it all'?" Tadasu asked as he eased him down onto the bed. Ichigo hadn't even noticed where they were, he was so far gone. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey he kept by the bed and poured a shot.

"I used ta be a Shinigami, well a subs'tute anyway," he said as he reached up and took the shot glass. "Why'd tha bar turn into a house?"

"Don't worry about that. Tell me about why you lost it?" A Shinigami? Interesting. He was far too drunk to lie about that.

A story came out slowly of a teenager thrust into a world without knowing what he was doing. Tadasu listened, and more than that, he believed him. He'd seen the black outfits before, and he'd seen the monsters no one else could see. He always hid from them, ever since he was a child. And he knew exactly what it was like to see spirits as Ichigo described when he was young. However, Tadasu didn't tell him any of this.

"I believe you."

"Wha'?" Ichigo blinked and stared at him. "Y'b'leeve m'story?" he slurred, having taken at least five more shots.

"Why wouldn't I believe you? I told you I like you, remember? And I should believe the person that I want to be my lover," he said and gently kissed Ichigo's lips.

The next few hours were more struggle than he preferred, though. He found that Ichigo really didn't want to be topped at all, and probably, given a different set of circumstances, would never bottom for anyone. That wouldn't do, Tadasu though, and changed it right quick. He was in control of the situation, no matter how much he cried and begged him to stop even in his drunken state. This was going to happen, and Ichigo just had to accept it. Afterward, he'd spent the next day apologizing for drunkenly taking advantage of him, and smiling, accepted his statement that he didn't want to do that again. That would change, Tadasu knew.

Tadasu knew what he was doing. He was older, almost twenty-one compared to Ichigo being nearly seventeen. He overwhelmed him with affection, giving him everything someone could ever want. That was necessary as he snuggled with him, and they went on dates to the beach. Nothing ever went amiss, and Tadasu was the perfect gentleman. To make this work, he had to spend a lot of time on this part, because he was not getting away, not at all. Ichigo was his, and soon, not even his family would take his attention away.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

After Rukia left, Ichigo went back inside to find Tadasu standing just inside the door. "I'm sorry she came by. I haven't seen her in years."

"Were you fucking her?"

"No!" Ichigo exclaimed in disgust. "I told you when we met I'd never done it with anyone, not a girl or a boy," he said and crossed his arms. "R-Rukia was like my little sister."

"Finish dinner. The guys are coming over again tonight," Tadasu growled and turned to go back to the living room and his tv show.

Ichigo exhaled and went to finish dinner. Dinner was nonnegotiable for Tadasu. He couldn't be late with dinner, and he couldn't mess it up. Doing either of those things led to trouble and he really didn't want trouble today. He hadn't been in trouble for Rukia's visit, so that was good. Too good, he thought to himself as he served Tadasu's food in the living room and put his into a container to take to his room. He went and stood beside the chair until Tadasu gave him his plate. After he finished the dishes and put them away, he headed up to his room. If his step was a little lighter, Tadasu didn't seem to notice it.

He had to figure out how to let his pets go potty, but he had managed. He'd take them down and put them out the back door every few hours, and to his glee, they would come right back. He had no idea why this cat and dog had decided he was their owner, but it didn't matter. He was happy to have something he could take care of.

"Hi, guys," he said as he came in and put the food container down.

It was a good thing that Tadasu expected him to eat in his room. And missing one meal a day wasn't that big a deal. He just hoped that Tadasu didn't realize he was taking more than usual from the food each night.

Ren came out and sniffed at Ichigo's hand as he put out the food for him and Grimm. "You two are so polite, and you don't make any noise. Sometimes I wonder if you aren't like the bird that Chad used to have. He turned out to be a spirit bound into the body of a bird. But Chad could talk to him because he was spiritually aware, like I used to be, you know." He petted both Ren and Grimm and he was much happier for it. He heard the door open downstairs and close and knew that the guys had come to smoke with Tadasu. He always liked it when they smoked weed. Tadasu would get really mellow, and he never expected anything out of Ichigo on those nights. The bad nights were when they shot speedballs or something like that. He missed the way Tadasu had been at first; he hadn't done drugs at all. Now, though, he did all kinds of things as long as these Yakuza wannabes were doing them too. It was distressing because Ichigo had thought he'd make a very good nurse.

"He should be busy tonight," Ichigo said with a sigh as he snuggled with Grimm and Ren on the cot. Having someone, even just a couple animals, in bed to snuggle with was a great thing to Ichigo. He didn't feel nearly as lonely anymore like that.

He'd fallen asleep when the sound of someone coming up the stairs woke him. In a panic, he got up and shoved the dog and cat under the cot. Something had to be wrong for Tadasu to come up and get him; either that or they weren't smoking weed and they needed "entertainment". The door slammed open and he could smell the chemical smell that came wafting up when they were smoking meth along with the marijuana. That didn't bode well, because that was when Tadasu got really violent. However, it wasn't Tadasu standing in the doorway when he locked eyes on the other person.

"Ryu?" Ichigo gasped, pulling the covers around him.

Ryu Yukawa was one of the people that often came to share drugs with Tadasu. He was also a low-ranking enforcer for the local Yakuza branch that Tadasu was desperately trying to get into. More than that, he was someone that Ichigo had been "lent" to before.

"Hey, Ichi, I got a problem, and my cock needs some relief, c'mere."

"Ah, no, Tadasu told me to stay up here. I can't go downstairs unless he says so," he gasped. No, this wasn't how it worked.

"Are you denying your boyfriend's good friend?" Ryu said and came into the room, closing the door behind him. This wasn't good. This was where Ichigo was sent to be alone, to be punished sometimes by being alone, but it always was safe from others. Someone being in his private space was completely, and totally nerve wracking.

"No, he won't be happy if you…" Ichigo found himself pulled off the bed and thrown back onto his belly, clothes already pulled off. This was bad; he didn't have the strength to push this guy off his back. Perhaps skipping food wasn't the best idea; he was even weaker than normal.

"Stop!" he yelped as Ryu finally managed to slide himself into him. Ichigo bit his lip and buried his face in the bed because there wasn't much he could do. The sudden, lancing pain up his spine was enough to set his knees to weakness.

The door slammed open again, and he gasped as the weight was off his back. He slid back onto the floor against the bed in time to see Tadasu, a joint haphazardly in his mouth, knocking the hell out of Ryu with his left hand while he held him against the wall with his right. He spoke with each punch he laid on the other man's face.

"What. Did. I. Say? Never. Without. My. Permission."

He then opened the door and tossed Ryu down the stairs. Ichigo cringed to hear the thumping and the groan when it stopped. Then, Tadasu was on him, dragging him up and onto the bed by his hair. Ichigo knew what was coming when he heard the clink and swish and he wasn't going to be able to stop him. He cried out with the first hit across his back and he did his best to stifle the noises he made by biting into his left knuckle as he striped his back raw with his belt. After twenty solid hits, the belt hit the floor and Tadasu grabbed him by the hair again, wrenching his head back as he tried to stop crying from the pain and humiliation of the whole thing.

"You let him come up here and fuck you?"

"No, no, he wouldn't stop…" Ichigo gasped out.

"You worthless, used up, cum dump. You just let him come into your room without throwing his skinny, worthless ass off of you?" Tadasu hissed in his ear. "Are you that much of a slut now? Or are you just that useless and weak?"

"No!" Ichigo sobbed now because he couldn't stop it. "He didn't listen when I said you wouldn't like it, and he…"

There was a pause and Ichigo felt him let go of his hair. "Alright. I guess I shouldn't have gotten so mad over it. He knew not to come up here at all, now, here," he said and Ichigo felt him reach for him.

Despite what he'd just done, Ichigo went to him, putting his arms around his waist and letting him pet through his hair as he rested his head on Tadasu's thigh. There was silence as it seemed that he was thinking. Ichigo would do anything to stay like this, just holding onto him and being together but then Tadasu spoke again.

"Open your mouth," he muttered.

"What?" Ichigo asked, looking up at him with wide eyes as he dragged off the joint he was smoking. Now the whole room would smell like weed.

"I said, open your fucking mouth," he said, glaring down at him.

Ichigo did so, not knowing what to expect now. "You're being lippy. More than you should. Stick out your tongue and don't you dare pull it back in until I tell you."

Sticking out his tongue, Ichigo realized what he was going to do and he wasn't sure how to react. He took the joint and put it out on his tongue. Ichigo gasped, pain lancing through his mouth at the burning sensation as he ground the cherry into him. He smirked at him, and Ichigo felt the tears running down his cheeks.

"Swallow that." Ichigo's eyes widened and he didn't know what to do. Swallow it? "Fucking are you deaf or just fuckin' stupid? Swallow it. A little weed and paper ain't gonna kill you. Now do it or do I need to get the belt again?"

Ichigo did as he was told but felt his stomach rebel. He was glad now he hadn't eaten. Tadasu laughed and then squished his cheeks with one hand. "Good boy, good boy. I knew you could do it. Don't throw up on the bed or I'll beat you again," he hissed as he stood up and left, slamming the door behind him. Ichigo could hear the click in the lock this time. He tried to hold his stomach, but he was throwing up into the trash immediately. He collapsed onto the floor and felt the soft licks of Ren licking at his tearstained face. He smiled.

"I'm fine, Ren, I'm fine. I've had worse." His voice was beginning to sound weird as he felt his tongue swelling up. Worse came out more like "woorss".

Grimm, though, came around and nuzzled into Ichigo's neck and Ichigo was glad as he clutched the blue-gray cat and then the tears really did come. "What am I? I'm nothing now, look at this," he cried. "I am so fuckin useless I let this happen. What do I do? What am I even worth? The only reason I don't kill myself is because of a stupid couple animals I found that I'm pretty sure if he finds out about I'm going to get in way more trouble."

"Trouble" was the word that Tadasu used to mean he was going to punish him. Ever since the first time he'd grabbed him and tied him to the bed and beat him with a belt, it had been trouble. At first, he had to tie him down because Ichigo wasn't going to take being beaten with a belt boyfriend or not. Then, he had to tie him down less and less as it just became the normal thing that happened when he got in trouble.

Still, he sobbed into the fur of the blue-gray cat and the red dog like he'd never cried before, and he had no idea why he was so emotional over a pair of stupid animals.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

"He's being abused."

"You're kidding, right? Ichigo Kurosaki? Abused?" Ikkaku said with a snort. "That's ridiculous. He'd just fight back!"

"You don't understand, Ikkaku," Yumichika said as he stared at Rukia's concerned face. "That doesn't matter with abuse. Power isn't the point. It sounds like whoever this is, has made Ichigo this way."

"Abuse?" Uryū said from where he sat across from the two eleventh members and beside Orihime. "Really?"

"You're the one that told him he was useless," Rukia snapped, glaring at him.

"I did not!" Uryū responded.

"You kind of did," Orihime said, sighing. "Kuchiki-kun is right, remember when he got stabbed that night? He was in the hospital for so long and I couldn't help because everyone was watching him so carefully. He got that nasty staph infection in the wound, and then he nearly died from pneumonia before he could leave," she explained to Rukia. "You told him he was only human. He… He probably thinks that you meant he was useless."

"I didn't- That's not what I meant! He put his life in danger and didn't have the abilities of a Shinigami! That was stupid!" Uryū grumbled.

"That was Ichigo, though," Yumichika reminded Uryū. "Even before he was a Shinagami, he was the type of person to fight for others. And you told him to stop being himself."

Uryū looked abashed at the thought he'd had any part in things. "That doesn't explain why he'd let some guy abuse him."

"It isn't about letting anyone do anything, Uryū," Yumichika sighed and shook his head. He looked away. "Before Ikkaku, I was stuck with someone that hurt me. It wasn't that I liked being hurt, it was that I loved him with all my heart, and I believed him when he said that he hurt me because he loved me. I could have walked away at any time. But I couldn't. Not really. It is about letting someone get close enough that they can abuse you, and you see that abuse as the way they show love."

"So, he loves the guy? So how are you going to get him to leave that situation?" Ikkaku asked, summoning the waitress for another noodle bowl.

"Me?" Rukia asked. "He wants nothing to do with me, and he told me to not come back."

"You aren't seriously going to listen to him, are you?" Yumichika asked as he delicately sipped his tea. "He needs to know he has worth other than being a Shinigami to you. That's why he turns you away. He feels like he has no value to you anymore."

"He's my friend. I care about him because of that, not because of his powers," she said sadly. "And I could have gotten a Gigai at any time and gone to see how he was doing. This is my fault as well."

"Not to change the subject, but any word yet from Abarai-san?" Yumichika asked as he watched Ikkaku devour another bowl of noodles with abandon.

"No, I haven't heard anything-" she began only to hear the communicator buzz. "Oh, I be tthat's news on what happened to him," she stated and headed out to return to the sixth division to see what the news was.

When she got there, she found that Kurotsuchi-taichou was leaving with Nemu on his heels. He had a self-satisfied grin on his face. That was good news. She came into her brother's office to find him sitting behind the desk looking amused.

"Nii-sama, has there been news?" she asked with a half smirk.

"Yes, and you're being ordered to go to the World of the Living to locate Abarai-fukutaichou and Grimmjow and bring them back," Byakuya said as he shifted paperwork.

"And how should I do that?" she asked, thoroughly confused.

"It seems that the readings your returned with show that the hollow had the ability to transform spiritual beings into other living beings. You will be looking for extremely low reiatsu readings that can be picked up on this," he handed her a box with an emitter array on the top. "It should glow brightly when in the presence of the reiatsu readings of either Abarai-fukutaichou or Grimmjow. Bring both of them back, no matter what form they have taken."

Rukia stared at the small box. "Any idea on what type of forms?"

"Living creatures was all Kurotsuchi-taichou said. For all we know, they could be insects. He indicated that the effect was temporary, but it was dependent on the spiritual power of the person hit. Considering that Grimmjow and Abarai are roughly equivalent in power levels, I'd imagine they are still in a transformed state. Almost a week has passed in the World of the Living since you 'lost' them." Byakuya nodded emphatically. "I've already informed Ukitake-taichou that I've decided to send you. I know Ishida-san is still present, perhaps take him along with you, and the woman as well. Their time in Soul Society is at an end anyway."

Rukia nodded, taking off for the noodle place to retrieve the two humans. Within a few moments, all three were walking down the streets of Karakura Town with the beeping device. "Are you sure that thing works?" Uryū asked skeptically.

"Yes, yes, look, the reading is getting stronger this way," she muttered as she followed the readings.

After another twenty minutes, the dial was bright, and she was staring at a familiar doorway. "Oh."

"What is it, Kuchiki-kun?" Orihime inquired.

"This is where Ichigo lives. Why would the reading for them lead me here?" she wondered.

Uryū snorted and turned away from the building. "Let's knock and find out if we can go in."

"This guy won't let you in, I'll have to go in spirit form. You two wait out here," she said as she went into the building following the meter.

The place was immaculant, and really, if she didn't know that someone lived there, she'd think the place was vacant. She found her way to a living room where several men lay around futons, fast asleep. It was early morning, though, so she guessed they'd had someone over the night before. She noted one of the men looked rather beat up. She stepped around them and followed the meter toward the steps. She looked up at the door to the attic and knew the reading was strongest from there.

"What the fuck are you doing in my house?" came the voice of the man she'd seen before.

She turned and glared at him. He could see her. He had red-rimmed eyes and looked half asleep. "None of your business."

"It is my business. I knew that you were one of _them_ because he told me that you were. Now get the fuck out of here," he growled and stepped toward her menacingly.

Rukia easily stepped around him, flashing to stand behind him. "If you know what I am, you know that as a human, you stand no chance trying to fight me. So, step back and let me do what I came here to do."

He stepped forward and tried to punch her. She huffed a breath and dodged it easily, this time flash stepping to the top of the attic stairs and ignoring him. She muttered under her breath and turned to place the binding kido on him so he'd stay put. He screamed in frustration at being easily bound. She heard the door open then and looked to see both Uryū and Orihime come running into the room.

"What is this, a freak convention in my house?" he snarled.

"He's spiritually aware," Rukia explained. "But the readings are coming from up here." She reached down and saw the door was locked so she clicked it and opened it. She frowned as she stepped into the small attic and saw it was Ichigo's room. He was lying asleep on a small cot, and cradled in his arms was a small blue-gray cat. Snuggled against his back was a fluffy Pomeranian dog in bright red. She sighed, recognizing the dog that had been yapping at her when she killed the hollow.

"Renji," she said just loud enough that the dog sat up and then stood wagging his tail as hard as he could.

"Hmm, Ren, go back to sleep," Ichigo muttered, reaching out and putting a hand on the dog.

Behind her, she heard the guy, Tadasu she thought was the name that Ichigo had called him, screamed out again. He was obviously still angry at being bound. At that, Ichigo sat up, throwing the cot to the floor when he did.

"What? Tadasu?" he gasped, turning to look through Rukia at the open door. "Why is the door open?" he mumbled as he reached down and grabbed the cat. He put him besdie the dog. "Stay here, something's wrong…"

Rukia's heart ached and she would have given anything to have a Gigai right then. He stumbled as he got up, and she saw he was wearing plain blue pajamas, but they were threadbare in places. He went down the stairs, shutting the door behind him and blinked as he saw Tadasu bound in a ffamiliar position on the floor.

"Who's there?" he asked, looking around.

"Rukia," Uryū said as he stepped into Ichigo's vision. "Rukia is here."

"Wha?" he asked. "Why… What are you two doing here?" he asked as he stared between Orihime and Uryū. "Go away!" He crossed his arms over his chest and snorted. "Rukia, you too, I said to leave me alone!"

"She says that she can't because Renji and Grimmjow are here, and that's why we came," Uryū interpreted. He was staring at Ichigo with wide eyes.

Ichigo frowned. "What? How?"

A second later, the door to the attic opened and the transformed pair came running down the stairs to sit at Ichigo's feet. He stared at them. "Wait, no, really?"

"What the fuck are those?" Tadasu growled from where he laid on the floor. "Why the fuck are there animals in here, Ichigo?"

Ichigo immediately looked away from him. "Sorry, I saved them…"

"You said you saved a cat and dog, not brought them home. You fuckin' lied to me?" Tadasu struggled against the kido again and snarled at him. "I'm going to fuckin' kill you when I get up from here."

Ichigo flinched and shook his head. "I'm sorry, whatever you decide."

Rukia shook her head and glared at the man on the floor. "You sorry bastard. You're not going to touch him again; do you understand me?" she hissed.

"What do you mean, bitch?" he smirked at her. "He's going to be here with me when you're gone, and I'll do whatever the fuck I want. He won't walk when I'm done with him this time."

Ichigo started to chew his thumbnail and looked away but he caught Uryū's eyes. He looked frightened but complacent. Rukia shook her head. "No, he's leaving here with me. There is no way you're going to get to him. Where he's going, you'll never touch him again."

"Oh, you're going to take his weak ass to that Soul Society of his?" Tadasu snarked. "I'd like to see that. He can't even see spirits."

Ichigo looked at the space where Tadasu was staring. "What? You want me to go back?"

"I've brought something to make sure he can go back, and he's not weak, you sorry bastard," Rukia said and summoned a Zanpakutō from her belt that hadn't been there before. "I didn't think I'd get to use it so soon." She walked over toward Ichigo and pulled back and slammed the sword forward through his middle. There was a familiar wash of power and when the smoke cleared, Ichigo teetered for a second, black clad once again and staring wide-eyed at her.

"What did you do?" he gasped.

"Reawakened your powers," she said as he fell to his knees. He sat there, stunned for a minute, dressed in the black shihakuso before he fell forward in his human form again onto the floor.

Tadasu glared at him and then back to Rukia. "I still own him. He's mine from now on. No matter what you do, he'll never truly belong to you or anyone else. Not after what I've done to him. I've made him so he can't live without me."

"I doubt that," Rukia said as she lifted him up in her arms easily despite her small size. She glanced at the dog and cat. "Uryū, get them. They'll stop being animals and turn back soon."

Uryū scooped up the dog and cat, and followed as Rukia took off with Ichigo to Urahara's place. Rukia regretted that Renji and Grimmjow hadn't had the chance to change back in front of that bastard. Not everything could work out perfectly, she supposed as she set down in front of the door. She knocked upon it and Urahara answered just as Uryū appeared with Orhime and the two animals.

"What is this?" he asked, sensing Ichigo's power had returned. "You gave him the infusion already? I thought we were going to discuss it with him before we did it?"

"Circumstances warranted action," she mumbled as she walked past Urahara to lay Ichigo down in one of the rooms. "I'll be back; I'm going to get Kon. Take care of Renji and Grimmjow."

She disappeared out the door just as Uryū walked in with the two animals. Urahara stared at them and then Uryū. "That's where Renji-san has gone?"

Uryū nodded and put both Renji and Grimmjow in the room with the unconscious Ichigo. He explained what had happened to Urahara as much as he knew. Rukia appearened with Kon clutched in her hand. She went into the room and separated Ichigo from his body. He was still heavily unconscious, but Kon was wide awake.

As soon as Kon stepped forward he gagged and started pulling at his tongue. "Ah, ah, ah, the fuk…"

"What is it, Kon?" Rukia asked as Kon stood with his tongue sticking out. Rukia blinked. "His tongue is burned. Can Tessai do something about this?"

"I'll get him," Urahara said as Kon stood there and rubbed various painful places on his body.

"Is there something else?" Rukia requested, concerned now.

"I hurt, and I don't feel right. I'm sick feeling," he said and staggered to sit down on the floor. "The whole body is exhausted and I want to go to sleep."

Tessai came in a few minutes later with Urahara and proceeded to use healing on Kon in the body. As he did, Rukia began to take mental notes of the bruises. Kon shifted uncomfortably and started to wince. He then leaned forward and removed the pajama shirt and sighed.

"Oh, that's better, my back is killing me…" he muttered.

Rukia went around and gasped, both hands covering her mouth. Tessai, who was casting a healing on his mouth leaned his head to the side and stared. "Oh my. There's infected places in that, but the wound on his tongue is also infected. Who did this to him?" he asked in his deep voice.

"What's wrong with his back?" Uryū asked and walked around behind him. "What is that? Those look like…belt marks?"

"Hard enough to break the skin," Rukia whispered as she knelt behind him and touched the scabbed flesh. "There's scars under them. Orihime, you'll need to help."

After an hour, Kon was no longer in pain and felt somewhat better. He still complained. "I feel gross. Like, my hair is awful," he groused and pulled at the red-orange strands around his face. "Hasn't he cut it in the last four years?"

"I don't know that Ichigo has done a lot in the last four years," Rukia said as she stood up and sighed. "I'll check on him."

She went slid open the door and then nearly laughed out loud. Both Renji and Grimmjow had transformed back into their natural forms and both were intertwined with Ichigo. All three of them were deeply asleep so she stepped forward and gently plucked the three Zanpakutō out of the way and pulled a blanket over the trio. She had no idea what all Renji and Grimmjow had seen, and how long the two had been under Ichigo's care, but she imagined that the abuse that Ichigo's body had taken would be explained once they woke up again.


End file.
